And to make certain that I follow the rules, my taxes will be audited from here on out. By other IRS employees. Looking for mistakes. Trying to create a workforce that is without blame when it comes to their federal tax returns.
Now I am an honest person. I never really played the "who can screw the IRS" games. Partly because I always figured that I would get caught. But mostly because my parents taught me to be honest. To do the right thing. Not to monkey around with the truth.
So my (our) taxes have never been a source of fear for me. I knew that they were accurate (except for the time that I decided to add up our income by hand and didn't use a calculator and forgot to carry the one, which resulted in reporting $10,000 less than we made. OUCH that hurt when the bill came due!) And I knew I hadn't done anything fast and loose with the law.
But now that I know that they will be reviewed with a microscope I am nervous. I picture a room full of cranky agents, all in fedoras and smoking cigars, rifling through tax returns. Suddenly one shouts out "Ah HAH!" as he leaps to his feet, brandishing a tax return with an error on it. And the one that is in that agent's hand is, of course, ours. Immediately another agent is dispatched to my cubicle, the lovely, much longed-for cubicle with the window, and I am dragged to the elevator to the 11th floor where other agents await me. I am mercilessly grilled in a small windowless room with a bright light and finally told, with disgust, to gather my things and leave the building forever.
I know that in reality it will be nothing like that. And I know that I have nothing to fear. But I can't help worrying. So I am eagerly awaiting the 2010 tax forms and publications and tables and schedules. And our W-2s. I need to get started on our taxes.
I figure that if I do them every week for three months I should have a consensus return to mail in by April 15.
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